I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
