im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
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