yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
