She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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