My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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