Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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