My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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