i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
