Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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