I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
