i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
The dysfunction is strong in this one.