How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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