we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
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either way he was missing a nipple.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
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I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?