DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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