Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
