Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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