what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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