You're completely useless in the revolution.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
