Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
