is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
