Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
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And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
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There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.