is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
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He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
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It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos