Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize