I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
