Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
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I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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