what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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