Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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