What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
