not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
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