i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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