I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize