The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
