Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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