I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
