Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You can't motorboat a personality
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
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