Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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