Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
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I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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