I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
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She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
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My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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