I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
do nipples grow back?
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