absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
