She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
