Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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