I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.