he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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