I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
