Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
