4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
