Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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