Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
