i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
