There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize