I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?