Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
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He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?