I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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