So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
