Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize