I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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