Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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