i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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